Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
