in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
