Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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