butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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