What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
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we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
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I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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