dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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