i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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