just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
