Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
