I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
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