...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
