You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Randomize
