It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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