The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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