I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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