I bet he comes in French.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
