i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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