the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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