Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
now i know why i became what i already was.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you