I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
