fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
accomplished twins. life is a go
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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