just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize