So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
