even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Found your dick twin last night
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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