Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize