And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
