I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
