dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
