sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I need water and some morals
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
