i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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