Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
