I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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