It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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