"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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