It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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