i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
