we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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