Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
