Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
