It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
