I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So much rum. So many feels.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize