I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
