She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
