I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
