Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
