I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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