If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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