I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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