We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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