Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
