I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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