Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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