Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Randomize
