i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
