if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
