Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
