we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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