Whoa Z and x make the same sound
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
