I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
